thoughts

Sitting in the class and chatting with my friends alongside with the professor blabbering about the new business road test. The professor is talking about the setup of a new business on a new idea and its feasibility and I am getting lost in my own thoughts. I continue to think that although we talk about a new business we don’t know when we are going to start the same; I am not even expecting a job from the college and without the support that is needed to live your life you can’t even think of starting a business.
Anyways classes are getting boring each day and it’s becoming difficult to concentrate and sit in the class and most of the time my mind wanders on a lot of things varying according to my mood but most of the time it’s her. And with the chances of being with her decreasing with time, it’s becoming a dream to be with her and I just think of the moments that we had thought of when we were together. The issue of this is not just with me but with so many young hearts and minds of India and I don’t think anyone is responsible for this because thing is so much ingrained in our culture but as with the changing time it’s becoming a need to change this culture and move on with the world. And it’s the only chance to stand up with the world.

-By D

Bad days

It’s been a while that I have written something here. I don’t know why but these days are kind of unlucky for me and I don’t feel like doing anything like that. And today, Friday the 13th unlucky as is considered by most of the people on this planet, some calling it a highly unlucky day, some calling it a deadly Friday and some other black Friday. I don’t know the significance of why it is called like that and neither have I wanted to know. But today the bad luck followed me.
It started right from the morning, got up late and after that the teacher came late in the class and we wasted around an hour waiting for her. And then in the class we were scolded for not making the presentation and making excuses. So to get our respect back we decided to make the presentation even though we were not ready. Although the presentation ended pretty well but the feeling of arguing with the teacher was not good.
The day doesn’t ends here, in the evening our results were out and I again scored bad marks, my lowest in two years of my MBA, and it really feel bad not to score good marks, though I don’t care.
Anyways the day was almost about to end when I came to know that one of the extra class that was scheduled for Saturday has been cancelled. It really pisses me off, because I was not able to go home because of this class. I must say that Friday the 13th had become a truly bad day for me on all aspects. And I hope that I don’t face such days again in my life and especially not in the near future.

-By D

no choice

I have never thought that I would be writing blogs one day but here I am writing my own blog and I think this is the irony of the situation that can be best described by a proverb
“One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it”
and same happened with me, met my destiny (I don’t hope so it is true) on the road which I was trying to avoid. I have never thought so even in my dreams and can never believe what happened. I don’t know what to do. The only thing that comes to my mind is to be alone. The same happens with everyone once in a while when their dreams get broken but does that mean we should be disheartened and be alone, should we stop dreaming. I keep on wondering why the hell we do dream about when we know that one day they are going to be crashed and get broken leaving you all alone, breaking your heart into pieces, thrashing your courage so that you can never dream again. I don’t whether I should go on dreaming or not and even if I dream should I dream about the same thing or should it be different. But whatever that might be, right now I can’t and that’s what my destiny is.

-By D

Dreamer

dreams are like reasons,
dreams are like key,
dreams are like mountains
and dreams are like sea,
dreams are like weakness,
dreams are like power,
dreams are like seeds
and dreams are like flowers,
I am dreamer and I want to be,
I don't care about the future and what challenges could be.....

dreams are like darkness
dreams are like light
dreams are like union
and dreams are like fight
dreams are like sun
dreams are like moon
dreams are lie never
dreams are so soon
I am a dreamer and I want to be
whatever you may do and whatever you say to me.....!

-By D

29th October 2009

I have been listening to this song for the past 3 hours and I don’t know from where I have got this strange habit of doing this task. And I have also been reading a book along titled “Of course I Love You-Till I find someone better”. And while you do a management course like a MBA you inherit that super special power of doing multi-tasking, I don’t know how and most of the time I wonder that does it flows through your books, classes, professors or damn shitty schedule of your MBA into you.
But anyways I was enjoying what I was doing till the time I was so involved in the book that I forgot it and started actually day dreaming and think about the most precious thing and person in my life. And I keep on thinking why everyone around me can have the person they love except me. And it feel like so dejected and such a dumb person at the same time. And you keep on thinking that are dejected because you are dumb or you feel dumb because you are dejected. Anyways she almost can involve me anytime in her thoughts and I keep on lying thinking about her and the same guy feeling start cribbing her, to touch her and kiss her. Now that I have been away from her that I am realizing that how special she was and how much that I have loved her and close I have been to her. The song was just apt for the moment and the mood was getting more sulk and straight way two tears rolled down my cheeks.
From the time I have came back from my home after festival holidays I don’t feel like doing anything and most of the time I am sleeping or just passing time. My table is getting full of all the stuff that I once use to put at proper place once, but I think that are side effects of love or rather side effects of breakups you must say. I dint want to do it but I have actually become so spontaneous in doing things that even after doing things I wonder that was that I who did this?
But that feeling of being a part of her is always more overpowering and overwhelming and I can’t deny that even I want to. I have so much to do, but her dreams and thoughts are always around me that make me just lie and think and day dream about her.
And this is happening for the past 10 days and I think that was the reason that I haven’t blogged for so many days. With these thoughts in my mind I just heard a buzz in my laptop as I saw one of my friend was calling me for wishing another common friend of ours a happy birthday but as soon as I was able to concentrate and come back to senses he was asleep may be tired of his nerdiness (he’s a topper actually). And now its 2 am and instead of sleeping here I am writing on blog about her and my day dreams and about a nerdy guy. But I suppose that is the way life has become for me and I have to live it to the best I can till I do something more stupid that I haven’t thought of.

18th October 2009

Today the day was almost like a dream, met someone who was once very close, met some friends from the college who were there in the city and learnt to drive a car. This time I dint planned anything for the holidays and went on the plan for going with the spontaneous life because there is nothing much left in the planning as I feel about it.
Though the decision to meet this old friend came with some initial resistance from within but when I thought to forget everything and go with the time it made a good deal of effect. It made my friend happy and that’s what I always I aim for.
Anyways now the day is almost finished and so are my holidays and I have to return back to my college, but somewhere am feeling a dead weight in my heart of not meeting her, it’s not that I don’t want to meet but the conditions are not so amicable that I go and see her and talk with her. All of this is getting so complicated and I don’t have a heart to go around with all this but a dream, a dream to be with her forever a dream to see her with me is overpowering then to forget her and I think my dreams are better then what my heart is at this time. So I am going to follow my dreams whatever might be the consequences are.
And you know I like writing some soft, touching and open heart thoughts coming directly out of my heart without being changed and modified and I suppose that was the reason that I made this blog so that I can share my dreams with the entire world.

-By D

15th October 2009

Its 1 am, just wished one of my friends as it’s her birthday. Though, I’m feeling sleepy but still wanted to write something so here I am writing another of my post. Today I’m at my home after nearly a month, everyone is happy to see me, though my sis doesn’t know as she’s not at home (she’s a doctor and on a night duty right now). Anyways today when I was coming I saw little children selling water bottles in buses, running after them, chasing them, wearing just a vest and shorts, for them it’s a matter of livelihood but for us it’s something unnoticeable. I don’t know what they did to me, I just kept on wondering and dreaming that wish there is some way that I can really help them and many more others like them. I helped that fellow by purchasing a bottle but so many are still left.
Even they will be having some dreams, to eat good food, to be entertained, to go to school and study, to wear good clothes. But everyone doesn’t get what they want even they wish to and dream off. So it’s a duty of everyone to help them out, send them to school, and mobilize their parents to send them to schools. The government is doing their part and its time that we as a citizen of India should also help it in making India’s future secure and not jeopardizing it by letting this happen. And as the conducter of the bus asked for ticket a thought by some writer came to my mind that I think is apt for the situation.
“Har kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta
Kisi ko zameen to kisi ko aasman nahi milta’

-By D